Welcome to the blogspot of my Vampire Gene Immortals.

Here you may learn more about Lilly, Gabriele, Lucrezia and Caesare. You may not always like or agree with their opinions - but I take no responsibility for them ...

Read on at your own peril,

Sam Stone

Monday, 21 November 2011

Lilly Says ...

I'm a Celebrity Get me out of here is on again and I have been following this reality TV programme since the second season. There is something very amusing about seeing people being fed insects to eat, being put through the rigours of 'bush-tucker trials' and sleeping rough in the jungle, with all of their luxuries taken away.

I also like to consider how each of these would taste during their terror or triumph. It's something of a fetish of mine. Adrenaline can give us an addictive rush if the victim is hyped up enough in the right way.

This year however I'm not finding the selection the slightest bit yummy or remotely funny. The so-called celebs are the worst bunch of zed-listers I've ever seen.
  • Stephanie Powers - Hollywood Actress - starred in over 80 movies 
Okay Stephanie is a celeb - I agree. She starred in loads of films as well as a hugely successful series called Hart to Hart with Robert Wagner. Is she interesting in the jungle though? Not really. Blood - there probably is some in her veins, but I suspect it would lack nourishment.
  • Anthony Cotton - Apparently famous for a series called Queer as Folk and for Coronation Street
I'd never heard of him before as I haven't watched either of these series. Is he a celeb? He's a British soap actor so possibly more than most. Anthony is quite likable and he does reasonably well on the trials despite his phobias. He likes to cook the food and seems to know what he's doing. I think Anthony would make a very tasty snack. He'd probably prefer to be bitten by Gabi or Chez though ...
  • Lorraine Chase - Famous for being a cockney model with long hair. She also starred in Emmerdale recently.
Lorraine comes over well. She seems very sweet, but I suspect she has a strong side. I was quite impressed with her assertive dealings with Fatima. She's likable. Might be entertaining if she gets a chance to do a trial as I suspect she'll be terrified but go for it anyway. As for her blood ... It's my experience that very thin women don't taste well. I like a little cholesterol in my donations.
  • Fatima Whitbread - Olympic Athlete.
Fatima comes over badly in the show. She is manipulative and competitive. She is also the person who looks for arguments and fights with the others. Is she a celeb? Hell no! She's an athlete - how does that make you a celebrity in anyone's eyes? I bet her neck would be tough to chew on.
  • Mark Wright - Who?
Mark is supposed to be the eye-candy for female viewers. Puh-lease ... I'd never heard of him before this show - there's something about 'Towie' and 'Essex' that keeps banding around that makes little sense to me. I don't care for Mark. He's full of himself and very annoying.I expect his blood would be flavourless. In fact, I have no urge to even have a nibble.
  • Jessica-Jane Clement. - Again - Who??
A very pretty and seemingly sweet girl, Jessica-Jane is unfortunately still not what I'd call a celebrity. I'd never heard of her before this show. Even so, I see she could make interesting viewing if they gave her more to do than take showers. She has great boobs though. Nutritionally I suspect she would bridge the gap between lunch and dinner quite nicely or make a nice dessert.
  • Sinita - 80's Pop Star was her tag line. Some connection with Simon Cowell and X-Factor.
Is Sinita a celeb? Well - having a failed pop career doesn't make you that much of a celeb, but at least she does have some claim to fame. Also it takes a brave girl to date Simon Cowell and then remain friends with him afterwards. I was saying to Gabi today that what usually makes I'm a Celebrity ... interesting is when you have a participant who is scared but some how they triumph over their fears. Or some of the screamers are actually funny. Sinita I feel is something of a Gillian McKeith: she screams a lot, but none of it is that genuine. Fake. Boring. The squealing makes me want to rip her throat out - it's not amusing at all. Weak females are as dull as misogynistic men. Even so, I suspect her blood would be pretty tasty. All that hyped adrenaline. Yum.
  • Freddie Starr - Comedian. Man who supposedly ate a hamster. 
Freddie showed great promise at the first trial, but I knew when he walked into camp that he was totally unfit to be there. It was no surprise that his health took him out of the jungle very soon after. He's a little too unhealthy looking and wouldn't be my first choice of a meal.
  • Willie Carson - Jockey - What the fuck?
I suppose at least that most people had heard of Carson. He's not particularly what I would call a celebrity though. He had a long and successful career as a jockey though. Willie seems a decent guy - but that wouldn't stop me munching on his jugular if the mood took me. I'd imagine his blood would be nutritious.
  • Emily Scott - Topless Model? Celeb? I think not ...
Not too sure but Emily is a new arrival, following Freddie's exit. She may well have been brought in to replace him and so the producers of the show could be excused for bringing in someone that no one has ever heard of - oh wait - most of them you've never heard of ... Would I have Emily as an aperitif? Sure. She would probably be quite fun and it would be interesting to see if there is anything going on in that bimbo brain of hers.
  • Pat Sharp - 80's DJ and Children's Entertainer (I Think!)
Pat scored brownie points for looking after Sinita on their first night - spent in a cave with many insects. He seems calm and kind. Boring as hell though ... And when he was selecting all the young and beautiful people to be on his team, he came over as quite sleazy. Maybe he was a celebrity once, but if no one remembers you, or has heard of you, why do you still retain the title? Having said that, I wouldn't turn him out of my larder - he'd be a mature snack to enjoy sometimes.
  • Dougie Poynter - Musician.
I had to look up Dougie to learn that he was with the boy band McFly. Again, I'd never heard of him. This raises the question of - is he a celebrity then? Well, probably more so than Mark, Jessica-Jane, Emily, Pat and Chrissie. At least McFly was a fairly recent success. Out of all the men, Dougie is definitely the sexiest. He's understated, mild natured, not full of himself and I'd enjoy stalking him one dark night. I'm sure he'd taste of sensual sex ...

(Sigh. Chez is getting a little jealous as he's reading this over my shoulder)
  • Chrissie Rock - Soap Star on Benidorm
I have caught the occasional episode of Benidorm. It wasn't my cup of blood to be honest, and I don't recall Chrissie so she obviously had no impact on me. Before I comment on her celebrity status I'd like to ask you a rhetorical question. What is a celebrity? You see I think a celebrity should be classy, sophisticated, talented, attractive. Unfortunately Chrissie doesn't fulfil any of that criteria. Her accent annoys me beyond belief. She was supposed to be a comedienne, however, only she laughs at her jokes. The others politely smile - because she's not funny. I wouldn't bite her and I'm sure neither of the boys would bother either. I'd enjoy snapping her neck to stop her telling anymore of those ridiculous jokes though, and I'm sure the campmates would applaud if I did.

Overall, I'm totally disappointed with the roundup this year as there is only one seriously yummy contender, and no genuine laughs or real adrenalined fear to feed off.

Lilly x

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