By writing this blog I'm supposed to let you know that I am in fact, real. I'm not terribly sure that that is such a good thing. Sam Stone assures me however that you won't believe a word and you'll think it's just her writing in character. That's the only reason I agreed to do this. Plus it gives me a chance to decry all of the terrible things in this world - namely the bad singing that's supposed to be good.
Tonight, Lilly, Chez and I watched some Royal Variety performance at the Palladium and, I have to say, in my day most of them would have been thrown into prison for impersonating talent - very badly.
As you know my uncle Giulio Caccini was the man who, effectively, invented opera. He taught me everything he knew about music and I pride myself on being able to perform as an effective Tenor, which is why I feel I am very qualified to comment on singing and performance.
The ones that stood out the most for being the WORST - Cheryl Cole ... absolutely dreadful, deadpan and the most boring performance I've ever seen, with no absolutely no emotion. This is a woman who goes 'through the motions' but doesn't actually have any real talent beyond being gorgeous. And she is gorgeous, I admit that, until she opens her mouth of course and then the whole facade comes tumbling down. Lilly and I had a debate about her. I was certain she was miming, but then surely if she was, the vocals would have been better?
What the hell is this so-called band N'Dub? They were mostly out of tune and, to be honest I really can't understand this 'Rap' business. Talking on notes it's supposed to be. Personally I don't call it music and other than Eminem - who I find rather amusing - I'm not generally into the shouting and swearing that seems necessary with most rappers. My Uncle Giulio would turn in his grave to know that this is so popular...
Susan Boyle has a pretty voice: shame about her pronunciation though which was at times very poor and incredibly sloppy. My uncle would have rapped her knuckles with a heavy cane if he'd been her vocal coach. That would stop the laziness and keep her focused. She is a singularly unattractive lady though, isn't she? It's much better to close your eyes and listen to her, rather than watch her, as her voice sounds far younger than she looks. How old is she anyway?
I quite liked the performers from Les Miserables, however. The harmonies were beautifully sung. Lilly was brought to tears by the last song, Bring Him Home. A male quartet sang it tonight and Lilly said it was usually sung solo as she had seen it on the West End at some point or other. Some excellent falsetto and the arrangement for the four men was very well done.
I'm not generally keen on pop music but I did rather like 'Take That' too. Great performance and very strong vocals. A good conclusion to the show I thought.
Well that is all from me, for now. Ask questions if you want to and I'll answer them truthfully as I have nothing to lose since you think I'm a fictional character anyway. I think I'm going to like blogging. It seems like a good opportunity to rant about the world ...